Monday, 14 May 2012

Enda's Vision of Hell on Top of Croagh Patrick

Enda Kenny recently climbed Croagh Patrick. This is the result.

My name it is Enda and I’m here to send a
Most terrible warning to you one and all
In this plebiscite you have to vote right
Or this land into Hell-fire it surely will fall.
Take heed when I threaten and don’t be forgettin’
The words that I speak from the County Mayo
For the end will come soon, so prepare for your doom
If the people of Ireland they dare to vote No.

On Croagh Patrick I’m standing and a creature is landing
Out there in Clew Bay and his wings they are black
His eyes are red coals and he’s hunting for souls
It’s the Divil himself and he’s here to attack.
He’s gathering sinners - especially Shinners -
For satanic rites never known in Mayo
Your souls will be toasted, your hearts will be roasted
If the Divil prevails and the people vote No.

The sharks will surround you, the ocean will drown you
And icebergs will sink every ship in the sea
The mountains will shake and the bogs they will quake
Volcanoes will burst from Carnsore to Kilkee.
The sky will fall earthward and suffocate Jedward
With arsenic and sulphur the rivers will flow
Six-kilo hailstones will fall down and break bones
If you secretly mark the square box that says No.

All your teeth will fall out, you’ll be riddled with gout
Your head full of lice and your bed full of fleas
Soup kitchens and breadlines from Rooskey to Rathmines
Plague, pestilence, pox and the Black Death disease.
No song you’ll be croonin’ when you meet Michael Noonan
Down a dark lane in Limerick as you freeze in the snow
Your eye he will pocket and come back for the socket
If you dare to defy us and choose to vote No.

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